my favorite part of any trip to mcdonalds is the sudden and unavoidable flashbacks to the time when I got stuck in the slide for 5.5 hours and the staff had to slide down mcnuggets so I could keep up my energy while they cut the slide in half with a hacksaw. half-slide is still there, haunting me and the other kids who sudden fall through a hole halfway through their journey down
when I was 6 years old we were at the train station waiting for the train and I saw a kid a bit older than me go put a penny on a track and then wait for the train to run over it so it got flat and I got jealous and wanted to outdo him so I but a $1 bill on the track. that was the day I found out paper is already flat
yes they make tuxedos for giraffes and yes they are ridiculously expensive
One time in sixth grade I was being bullied really badly, and this whole circle of people gathered around me and the girl that was bullying me, and she smirked and went ‘You dumb rich bitch.’ And everyone was like OOOOOOH and I stood there for a second before pulling 20 dollars out of my wallet, placed it in her hand, and said “Buy some better insults.” And I swear the entire lunchroom rioted.